Just wanted to share that I am better now. I have moved beyond my self pity and found peace in the knowledge that God loves me more than I could ever comprehend. He loves me so much that he refuses to allow me to wander into places that I shouldnt go, refuses to allow me to have things that I simply do not need. I am forever greatful for his Grace.
Peace comes when I allow myself to release everything to him. Every fret, every hurt, every anxiety. I let him have it all. There is no peace like that. There is nothing that calms the soul like his gentle hand taking control of my life. And when I manage to climb back up the cliff(after I have thrown myself off!), I realize that he never let go of my hand; that he had me all along. I just thought I was by myself but I really never am. He carrys me. Amazing, truly Amazing Grace.
This is one of my favorite poems, written by Mary Stevensen, 1936,
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Mary Stevenson, 1936
Just wanted you to know that I am better today, better knowing that God is in control and that I am not. Off to run my errands!